I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
