He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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