Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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