No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
