In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
