I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
