Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
