I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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