Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
