Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
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