with your own penis?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
