I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
