after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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