I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
