you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
