New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
