did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
