Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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