I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
