I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
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