it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
