Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
