i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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