y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
