My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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