My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
