Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
