someone threw a dead crab at me
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
