you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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