wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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