Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
