google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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