my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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