im six kinds of drunk right now
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
