things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
you will always have a special place in my vag
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
