DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
