I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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