i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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