How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We are all done wearing pants today
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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