She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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