If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
