8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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