i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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