if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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