bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
