What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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