he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
