Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
