I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
