If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
