i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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