Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
