Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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